No- you haven't stumbled upon an ode to the classic Clint Eastwood western. This "Good, Bad, and Ugly" is dedicated to the WWF's fine *insert cackle here* programming, which has been sucking worse than a Hoover or a porn star. Now I present the good (of which there is little), the bad (we're getting warmer...), and the ugly (truckloads of it) of WWF programming. This is one mother of an ever-changing and expanding bitchfest that has become so large that it needed its own page, started to the backdrop of Verdi's La Traviata and Handel's Water Music and usually updated to the sounds of some good angry music, so sit back and enjoy.

 

 

The Good:

--Cruiserweight matches on SD.

--Goldust. Dustin Runnels has been on the top of his game and some good comic relief in an otherwise ho-hum show.

--CJ as a heel. The cockiness, the ego that enters the room before he does, the gum-snapping: this is what I need to see.

--Kaney Bear's back!!

--God help me, but Stephanie McMahon as GM of SD.

--The fact that X-Pac is gone.

--Dave Batista. *happy sigh*

--The women actually wrestling. Yes, they still have their ladies for eye candy only but it's nice to see an offshoot.

--Bubba in shorts *happy sigh*

 

The Bad:

--That "Whatthefuck?" music Undie has. For his sake, this better be the "work in progress" he proclaimed it to be.

--Main event matches with guys who you know ain't jobbing. Talk about predictable city.

--Watching all that Undie flying around and knowing the man's got bad hips, knees, and back, among other injuries.

--Awesome wrestlers dumbing down to the WWF wrestling standard because Vinny Mac wants entertainment, not an exhibition of sportsmanship. Christ, just let them get in there and do what they do best.

--Where is Bradshaw?

 

And The "Better just do an IV drip of Beam Black because I'm not making it through this shit sober" Ugly:

 

--The World Wrestling Fed...er...Entertainment whatever. Big fucking mistake there but funny Vince jobbed to a panda.

--The San Antonio Skidmark makes his return. *runs away wretching*

--The fact that Devon -really- needs Bubba back. And it's reciprocal, even though Bubba's faring better than his half-brother.

--Long goddamn promos that, to add insult to injury, have been the main events of the night.

--Long goddamn promos done by people who suck ass on the mic. They must need reminding of those who are the only ones who can rip up on the mic however damn long they want to: Ric Flair, Heyman, a Dudley (Bubba or Devon), Jericho in heel mode, Al Snow, Rock (when he stays out of Catchphrase City) and Steve Regal. People will be added or removed from this list at my discretion.

--Long goddamn promos, period.

--Pay-Per-Views that cost $30 -$40 and are 12 times a year. PPVs aren't even PPVs anymore or worth that much money. They're RAW is WAR with no commericals. They don't mean shit anymore, and are essentially 15 lbs. of shit stuffed into a 5-pound bag. I don't mind paying money for a PPV, but I better be getting edge-of-the-seat excitement, not just a show that will put me to sleep and make me regret putting more money into the WWF Corporate machine. However, I do want to thank the WWF for saving me at least $180 last year, seeing as when I've usually ordered 8 PPVs a year and I only ordered 2. And this year, I've saved $65- thanks, WWF! *cheesy thumbs-up*

--Wrestling matches that don't end cleanly -- ALL THE F'IN TIME! And worse when it's a good match. Talk about a fucking heat sucker there. Screwjobs are a part of wrestling but, dammit, I want to see some clean endings, too.

--The referee being totally knocked out when the wind hits him wrong and as he lays there, a dozen people can come into the ring, followed by the entire Local 81 Batallion, to have a battle royal. And when he "regains consciousness" all that stompin', shit-talking, and leftover weapons piled up in the ring don't mean jack and he slowly counts the 1-2-3.

--Knowing the minute you see Timmy White, you can be pretty sure there's gonna be a screwjob.

--Knowing the minute you see Earl Hebner, you can be guaran-damn-teed of a screwjob.

--Bad Bumps and Botched Blading Festivales. If this is all they can come up with to lure folks in, they's needin' to go back to the drawing board. Guess I'm too damn old-school to want to see anymore of these, especially if they involve a certain 6'9" redhead who borrows quotes from "Full Metal Jacket."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

&n